Saturday, August 22

Matthew Loren Cohen: under not over

Not in a million years would I have guessed that Matthew Loren Cohen, the illustrious improv pianist and entertainer, is an under-not-over kind of guy when it comes to the toilet paper roll. Matt is recently back after a months-long tour with Second City and a stint performing his Nuclear Family gig in L.A. (to raaaaave reviews), so I went over the other night with a very cheap bottle of white wine to say hello and welcome home and nice tan and all that. It's great to have him back in the neighborhood. He lives a few minutes away and we used to hang out all the time. So imagine my surprise--my utter shock--when I went to use "the ladies" and saw this under-not-over business. How have I never noticed this before? Isn't over the more accepted method? Matt is very particular, and this couldn't be a mistake. Certainly he must know something I don't.

"Matt!" I hollered from the ladies. "Under not over?!"

"Always under!" He hollered back.

"Emily Post!" he hollered. "It's just...really...it's a better...shape." Maybe he said something about it being elegant, but I can't recall, and neither can he.

[UPDATE: Matt confirms elegance per an email: "I absolutely did say it was elegant. I'm sure of that."] He can't seem to give me a supporting quote. His explanation in person is a series of hand flourishes.

I couldn't help but consider his style. He's so knowledgeable about so much: grammar rules, Broadway history, The Facts of Life trivia--especially all things Blair. I think he speaks French. Maybe he is right? Is the under way superior? The presentation of information is certainly crisper without the drape of paper obscuring what's underneath. Maybe I kind of like it. I'm trying it out. My roll (photo entitled Saturday Sunlight on Under):

I think I'm sold, even though I can't confirm that Emily Post says this is the correct way to hang. I could use an expert's approval since my eye isn't used to the roll reveal. Does anyone know?

What do you think? Under or over? Remember Matt's point about the...shape... Please comment! Let's sort this out.

12 comments:

  1. I don't think I could hang it that way...I'm an over guy.

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  2. Hi, Justin! Take the Saturday challenge with me...

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  3. OMG I'm so over. Seriously. OVER.

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  4. I'm an over girl, and I also squeeze the tube so it isn't so round and doesn't roll as well. Apologies Matt, it is definitely a far uglier shape, but I use less TP that way.

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  5. I use a stack of McDonalds napkins, so I would say...on top...or that might be an answer to another question

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  6. When I'm in other people's homes, I remove their loo rolls if they're under, and put them right. What can I say? I'm an obsessive Virgo. Will I ever be invited round again??

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  7. ..but in common households, the paper holder is simply a bourgeois accessory of the feeble mind; a hapless horizontal hook whose ambivalence causes acrimony and anger. Toilet paper belongs on the floor or the back of the toilet, of course. In this way one is also reminded to mop that floor after showering.

    In public places, however, the public's money should be invested in enough research to make sure the public's dirty fingers cannot contaminate my delicate English public schoolboy sensibilities.

    If necessary, the domestic roll may be gripped by an ornamental vice – perhaps some absurd piece of silver plated Victoriana. The inner cardboard tube may be removed and the paper dispensed from the middle, downwards, by means of a simple tug. Industrial logic saves marriages. Repeat after me... "Industrial logic saves marriages"

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  8. I remeber Monica from Friends being obsessed with this. I have to confess, I don't really care. Under, over...it's all good, as long as there's always some paper hanging there. I am absolutelly terrified of having to hang toilet papers...take the old one aout, put the new one...ahh...sometimes I just leave it around until a good soul will have the heaart to hang it. Does that make me weird? Or does anybody else loathes hanging the new roll of toilet paper?

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  9. I'm still doing under. I love it. Totally reformed!

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  10. martha stewart says over, and so do i.

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